Yesterday I had to write a very murky passage. I think it’s the first time I felt so disgusted by the words I was writing. It is clear that a writer has to put distance between his own beliefs and convictions and those of his characters. It is through this dissociation that the conflict that orchestrates the plot in the story can be created.
But it doesn’t stop one from thinking: “How could I have been able to write such an atrocity?”
The important thing at the end of the day was that feeling of stretching the limits, of stepping out of one’s comfort zone a little. You can only grow if you put yourself to the test. I’ll think about whether to edit, if in a few weeks’ time I still think that I’ve really gone too far.